In my post The Force is Strong in This One, I explained there are two sides to my AD/HD superpowers. Both sides were on full display in the past 24 hours: I lost my keys, then I used The Force to retrieve them. Let’s set the scene: Beautifully sunny day. Busy sidewalk in Downtown Brooklyn. Ventilation …
February 28, 2017
This school year I am a private tutor here in fair Brooklyn, traveling on my bike between clients’ homes when the weather is nice. (Yes, it’s dreamy.) It usually goes quite smoothly…until early last evening, when I dropped my keys through a grate and into an Alice-in-Wonderland hole about two stories deep. I’m standing there in the dark, bike still locked to a railing, 15 minutes from my next session, listening to my life tink-tink-tink its way into a distinctly different Monday night.
Apparently my efforts to build an ADHD-proof single woman’s existence came in handy as I attempted to remedy this problem. Simply follow these steps should you or a friend ever encounter such a situation:
How to Lose Your Keys
- Tell yourself to solve one problem at a time.
- Send craziest email ever to cancel last session. Remind yourself to get that phone number later.
- Follow random old lady into unknown building. Explore the basement. Find the office. Take pictures of the super’s phone number written on the whiteboard on the door. This will help you eventually get the key to your safe back, which you maybe don’t have a spare for at home.
- Go home.
- Use your negligent landlord’s crazy rock pile to hide a fake rock with your keys in it. Get keys.
- Use extra Clinique Bonus Days bags to keep all bike accessories organized. Get spare bike key.
- Jump back on subway to retrieve bike.
- Pretend you’re on the last episode of Grace and Frankie. Slo-mo strut to bike with unknown hiphop track playing in your head because you are a badass.
Total problem-solving time: 40 minutes
Because when you are wired for disaster, you anticipate disaster, baby!
This month, I packed 16 years of traditional teaching in four boxes and brought them into my home. They are still there. Like a threat. I can’t unpack them.
Student: Beth, what did you say you have again? OCD? Beth: Nope! Though I understand your confusion. I have AD/HD. Student: Huh? But you’re not all, “Blaaaah!!!” [flaps arms, runs in a small circle with tongue wagging] Beth: That’s not what hyperactivity looks like in everyone. [student accurately senses a lecture, flees to his next …
This past month, I took the state exam that would officially allow me to teach students with disabilities. This is huge news for several reasons:
Hyperactive subtype AD/HD comes with some pretty special superpowers. It took me a while to understand that the reason for my struggles was also the source of my strength. I get why Luke Skywalker needed three films to figure out what his deal was. I, too, needed lots of background knowledge, repeated contextual practice and an …
When I was little, my brother asked me to play video games with him once a month. That was about how long it took for him to forget that I have almost no ability to make a person who is not me move by pressing buttons. I also did not want to “share” the Rubik’s …
This summer I signed up for a six-day assisted trek in the Icelandic highlands as a way to “get away from life.” Isn’t that cute? Apparently Iceland was magical, so I decided that’s where life was going to pause. No problem! I hike. I have water shoes. Bring on the vistas!